Irreversible things break your heart forever. All you can do is try not to think about them. And if you do, you must find a way to suppress the neuroses caused by pain and uncertainty. Not knowing is the worst.
I didn’t remember anything but I had a feeling there was something I wasn’t supposed to remember. That’s why I dedicated myself to the garden. Every time something grew it was a disappointment because that meant I would have to find something else to plant and make not grow. So I started to plant things in the dead earth; in corners where nothing had grown or could grow. Or so I thought. Gardening only kept me busy for a while and soon the things I wasn’t supposed to remember began to haunt me. Then it rained when it wasn’t supposed to.